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Life is hard. And while we’re willing to keep showing up to fight the good fight, we also long for moments of restful bliss – to lay our burdens down without additional demands and expectations being placed on us. Home and our trusted others ideally provide this space for us. But often we must first work to build an atmosphere that provides the rest we seek.

On the frontier, shelter must first be secured before it can be made into a home and a restful place of retreat. And it doesn’t matter how hard we work elsewhere if we also don’t put the effort into building our homestead. Work is required before we’re able to enjoy the place of rest we desire. And this appears true throughout our life and relationships.

For instance, after a long day at work, it’s nice to come home to a peaceful house surrounded by those we love. But when we’re constantly faced with nagging, complaints, and more demands on our time, it’s tempting just to stay at work. We at least feel accomplished there.

But more hours at the office still doesn’t give us the rest we desire. While we might avoid some fights by staying out, resentment, bitterness, and isolation soon start to sink in.

To secure the rest we desire we must first build a relational atmosphere that allows others to feel safe and cared for. As we give our attention to fostering genuine love within our home, we create the conditions necessary to make our home a true place of rest – where everyone can be seen, known, and provided with what they need.

We frustrate ourselves and everyone else when we demand our homes to be a place of rest without first creating the conditions to allow this. This is a reasonable expectation for children, but not for men. We must do the work before we get to enjoy the rest.

In the end, it’s only natural to want your home to be a place of rest and peace. Just remember you must first build the relational atmosphere needed to allow this.

Photo by Janay Peters on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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