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We’ve each been given a burden – a personal responsibility to cultivate more of God’s life and goodness in the world. But while we remain keenly aware of the weight of our own burden, it’s easy to overlook and dismiss that of others. Yet part of love is simply affirming the load we each carry. 

For instance, we’ve been called to use our strength to make an impact for good at home and throughout our communities. And any setbacks, hurdles, or challenges here tend to weigh heavily on us. 

To be sure, there’s a lot we can endure when we’re making a meaningful impact and enjoying the fruit of our efforts. On the other hand, we’re more prone to anxiety and depression when it seems all our efforts are not making a difference.

And most days we’re somewhere in between these two and it’s nice when someone can just encourage us along the way – to see and affirm the efforts we’re making even when there’s not an immediate payoff. 

While it still weighs on us when we’re not experiencing the impact we desire, it goes a long way to simply have our burden affirmed. 

And the same is true when it comes to our wife. Reflecting the beauty of God through relational harmony, she tends to be more concerned about relational connection. And it’s relational disappointments that usually weigh heavy on her heart. 

While, of course, relationships are important to us as well, we’re generally not as sensitive to the daily efforts it takes to maintain a strong and vibrant connection with each other – often leaving us careless with our relational responsibilities. 

Rather than complaining or seeing our wife’s efforts as nagging, we can choose instead to affirm and bless the relational burden she’s been called to carry.  

As much as we want her to see and affirm the sacrifices we make for the greater good, we need to offer this same grace to her. 

We become ineffective and allow discord to take root whenever we dismiss or falsely compare our burdens. 

In the end, increase your impact and deepen your connection by affirming each other’s burdens. And in this way magnify your love for each other. 

Photo by Szőcs Viola on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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