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Sure, it is good to know ourselves, but we also desire to be seen and understood by others. We want to know our thoughts and feelings – our very presence uniquely matters. We long for someone to truly get us.

Sometimes this is hard to admit. Maybe it feels too self-centered. But if we are not careful, a lie creeps into our thoughts.

You are not seen and valued. And it’s selfish to want others to understand and care about you.

The lie is so deep and subtle it seems true, which profoundly shapes our lives.

Unconsciously, we might go to great lengths to be seen – always trying to perform, achieve, and accomplish in hopes to be noticed. If we could just do enough, others would see and recognize us.

We might also be prone to actively diminish or conveniently forget the efforts of others. If I am ignored, you will be too!

Self-forgetting is also a possibility. Believing we are unworthy, we hyper focus on others and hold back in offering the best version of ourselves. My interests don’t matter.

We must reject the lie and embrace the truth of how God has created us.

We all desire to be seen, listened to, and understood. It is not selfish to want someone to get us – to fully see and value the essence of our being.

At the same time, and maybe ironically, one of our first steps to being seen is to see.

When we feel seen and valued we are more likely to see and value others. But someone must take the first step.

So, while we cannot make other see us, we can actively choose to see them – to value their perspective and presence. I see you!

And as we take this courageous first step, we open the door for a deeper connection between us, and the healing of our own souls.

Honor your own desire to be seen and understood, as you also learn to see and value others.

Photo by Jose A.Thompson on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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