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God has given us the responsibility to work and provide for our family. And we’re not living faithfully when we do otherwise. All the same, in remaining faithful to our duty, we must not neglect the heart of our wife and the burden she carries. We must learn to bear each other’s burdens in love.

To be sure, working to earn a living and make an impact for good in the world generally weighs heavier on our hearts than our wife’s. She tends to carry a greater burden for relational harmony. But it’s a mistake to assume that just because we have a different burden that we can focus exclusively on ours to the neglect of hers. In marriage, the two become one, and this is reflected in how we’re to bear each other’s burdens as well.

On the one hand, we must maintain a fierce commitment to the work God has called us to do. Not only do we miss the mark when we get distracted, but we leave our soul impoverished as well, which in turn leaves us impotent relationally. We can’t give our true heart to our wife, or anyone else, when we’ve lost heart and abdicated our duty to provide for our kingdom. 

At the same time, we risk becoming a heartless tyrant when we don’t intentionally cultivate meaningful relationships. Relationships allow us to keep our hearts intact and remember the good we’re fighting for.   

And so while our burden helps to create the space for our wife and others to thrive, her burden helps to remind us that all our work is pointless if we don’t have loving relationships to enjoy once we get there. Together we’re to bear each other’s burden – seeking to understand, support, and receive the grace that each offers the other.

In the end, continue to pour your blood, sweat, and tears in the work God has given you to bless the lives of others. And remember your wife’s relational burden is a grace to bless and benefit you as well.

Photo by Luwadlin Bosman on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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