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Struggling to get or keep an erection is not an experience most guys want to “befriend.”  And even in knowing it is a common experience, we still want to avoid it at all cost, often feeling defeated and devastated when it does happen.

Photo by Warren Wong on Unsplash

Unfortunately, our desperate attempts to avoid impotence can actually prolong it because we either:

  1. Try harder, or
  2. Give up

Rarely does anxiously thrusting harder work, and certainly giving up and avoiding sex does not provide a long-term positive solution.

One of the keys to maintaining an erection is relaxing and allowing it to happen. It is not something we can force or make happen at will. Accepting and “befriending” those occasional moments of impotence allows us to stay relaxed and engaged, creating a lovemaking atmosphere that makes strong reliable erections more likely.

The same can be true in life.

When facing a challenge that makes us feel powerless, our ego often gets the best of us and we either redouble our efforts to make it work or we give up. Both of these options tend to be self-defeating in the long run.

Like with physical impotence, the key is to relax, to accept, and to befriend the moment – to stay engaged without desperately trying to fix the situation.

This humble acceptance opens the door for God to renew our strength. And with God all things are possible.

Stop trying to fix life by your own efforts and don’t give up. Learn to befriend your impotence and open to a deeper Strength.

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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