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Things are not always as they should be or even as we might want them to be. And it’s only natural to want to close this gap whenever we can. But time and again we’re reminded there are many things outside of our control. And wisdom reminds us to focus on the choices we can make – controlling the controllable.

Generally speaking, we all like being in control and directing the course of our life.  And we do have a responsibility here. At the same time, we don’t get to control every aspect of life.

For instance, we don’t control the decisions a boss might make at work or the public policies decisions made by our elected officials. And no amount of griping and complaining changes our immediate realm of influence.

Controlling the controllables is first focusing on the choices we can make.

This is not negating the power we do have just because we can’t control everything. But it is learning to focus our efforts within the realm of our influence and not on those things outside of our control.

As such, while we might not have control over the decisions of the company per se, we do have some influence over our individual position, and certainly in our relationship with the company itself. We might choose to change our employment status, for example, if the work environment is no longer okay with us.

Likewise, we might vote for another candidate or choose to otherwise become involved in policy making ourselves to pursue the outcomes we desire. But, in the meantime, we still go to work, care for our family, and focus on those things we can control.

And the same holds true as we deal with stubborn in-laws or our many differences in marriage.

We only frustrate ourselves focusing on the things we can’t control. A better approach is the sanity that comes from focusing on the choices we can make.

Find your freedom and power to make a difference by controlling the controllables and not worrying about those things you can’t.

Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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