It takes intentionality to bring new life into the world. Creation does not happen passively. As such, fatherhood requires our active choice. And new life does not happen without this choice.
Certainly this is true in the physical act of conception. A man must actively offer himself for new life to be conceived. If he remains flaccid, new life does not happen.
And this remains true throughout parenting. A man must actively choose to be present and involved in his child’s life.
Generally speaking, a mother’s bond happens more organically. On the other hand, it takes intentional and consistent effort for a father to forge a connection with his child.
But fatherhood is not limited to making babies and raising children.
Father energy is present anytime something is created. To make, establish, or originate something is to father it – the “founding fathers” of a nation, for example.
In this sense, we can all father by purposefully bringing something new into existence – creating something that did not exist before.
For instance, we can father the change we want to see in the world.
By doing work that matters or forging meaningful relationships, we are generating new life. Something that did not exist before now exists because of our efforts.
But even here, our fatherhood requires an active choice.
We must choose to do work that matters. It will not just happen. And meaningful relationships will also require a lot of sweat equity.
In whatever form, fatherhood by its very nature is active and penetrating – confidently moving into the world to generate new life.
So, whether fathering children or fathering the changes we seek in our life and relationships, we must make an active choice to engage, and stay engaged.
Fatherhood is not for the man who passively lets life happen to him.
Fatherhood is for the men willing to actively engage and intentionally bring more life and goodness into the world.
The choice is yours.