We each have a gift to offer, but our gift is not always welcomed or needed in every situation. In fact, our gift can become a nuisance, if not outright damaging, when offered unfiltered.

Certain things come easy to us. We naturally see things that others miss.

A gifted musician, for example, can easily hear when a song is even just slightly off key. What sounds fine to everyone else can be nearly intolerable to the one who knows what better sounds like.

But while he has a gifted ear, there is a time and place to offer it. And attending his child’s concert or singing next to someone at church, for instance, is probably not the time.

His gift needs to be filtered.

It’s not that he stops hearing the “bad music,” but he chooses what to focus on and determines if this is the best time to offer his gift.

He offers based on the need and his responsibility in the situation, not for the mere fact of having a gifted ear and simply wanting to resolve the tension in his own ears.

Compulsively offering our gift unfiltered might be more about appeasing our own ego than truly meeting the need of the other.

When we’re more concerned about what we’re offering than what the other needs (and also can receive) pride is at the root of our gift rather than love.

To be sure, we should freely offer our gift whenever and wherever it is needed. At the same time, we must also check our motivations and responsibilities.

Offering our gift unchecked to the need of the moment only brings strain and frustration.

Filtering our gift allows us to offer it as needed in love.

Don’t deny your gift. But filter it to the need.

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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