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No one likes being the bull in the china shop. And we’re often tempted to become someone else when we see how disruptive our natural strength and presence can be. But going against the grain of how God has crafted us is not the answer.

To be sure, the strength of a bull is best used outdoors in the open field. And it’s frustrating for all when it’s constricted to an environment that goes against its design.

And it’s also foolish to expect the bull to become something that it’s not.

The same is true for us.

Perhaps we have a gift for financial management, theological insights, or simply helping people to become better versions of themselves.

But our gift is not always needed in every situation and we must learn to filter our gift to the need. Every conversation doesn’t need financial tips, a sermon, insights into better living, or the like. 

And we become the bull in the china shop when we overextend our gifting, trying to help but causing more harm than good.

And often, our gift soon becomes a source of shame and embarrassment as we see the negative impact of our good intentions.

We don’t want to be “that guy” and so we try to blend in with the expectations of others. In short, we try to become someone other than our usual self in order to not rock the boat and run our friends and family away.

But the harder we try the more frustrated we become because we’re going against the grain of God’s design for us.

Much wisdom is needed in learning how to apply our gift. But the light and easy yoke of Christ doesn’t require us to work against our true essence.

Denying our true self brings unnecessary friction throughout our life and relationships.

Remain humble and wise in offering your gift. But don’t go against the grain and deny who you are just to fit in. Honor and celebrate who God made you to be.

Photo by Tyler Rutherford on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024


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