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Some things are not our fault. People and situations outside of our control are to blame for the circumstances we experience. But many other times we have no one to blame but ourselves for what comes our way. And we must learn to get out of our own way.

To be sure, it’s easy to blame others for our hardships. And there might be some partial truth here.

What’s much harder to acknowledge is our own contribution to the problems we face. All too often we block our own path from the good we want to see.

For instance, this might come through our self-doubts and insecurities. We don’t believe we have what it takes and so we hold back and play it safe.

And while it’s tempting to blame others for our lack of success, the problem rest with us and the stories we tell ourselves. We get in our own way when we repeatedly tell ourselves the lies of shame and doubt.

Our ego can also be a major blind spot.

Our relationships suffer, for example, when pride keeps us from owning our mistakes and shortcomings. Even when people might put up with us, true love and affection are missing.

And even here we might be prone to blame others for their distance. But it’s our lack of humility that drives them away.

This is not to suggest we bear the responsibility of our life and relationships alone. But it’s foolish and arrogant not to consider the part we play.

We grow increasingly frustrated and desperate when we don’t take an honest look at the ways we self-sabotage the very goodness we desire.

Regularly pause and consider how you might be contributing to the problems in your life. And learn to get out of your own way.

Photo by Mariano Nocetti on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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