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The honeymoon doesn’t last forever and sooner or later every relationship experiences growing pains. While unpleasant, this pain doesn’t mean something is wrong in the relationship, only that we’re being stretched.

For instance, a young couple madly in love tends to see only the positive qualities in each other and miss the very real challenges their relationship also presents.

But, in time, the high of the new relationship wears off and they see more holistically – the ways in which they’re alike and the many differences that remain and are prone to trigger conflict.

And the disillusionment of this awakening is often so disruptive that we start to wonder if we made a bad choice in pursuing the relationship to begin with.

But more often than not we’re simply experiencing growing pains.

We each have our own personalities and quirks, past baggage and histories, interest and approaches to life. And it takes time to learn how to dance with each other and our many differences – stepping on many toes along the way.

And these growing pains are not limited to romance and marriage. Even the best of friends are stretched in their relationship with each other. Family and our relationship with work are also put to the test.

When we put our head in the sand or run away from relational pain we allow our relationships to remain shallow and immature.

On the other hand, courageously enduring growing pains forges deeper connections and freedom in our relationships.

We don’t have to fearfully maintain the pretenses of the honeymoon in order to fake the peace.  We’re free to openly and honestly address issues and move toward our relational potential.

Accept the growing pains of relationships and enjoy the fullness each has to offer.

Photo by Jakob Owens on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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