Skip to main content

We are driven by deep and often hidden motivations – our desire to make the world right, to feel affirmed, and to know we are okay. These desires shape how we show up in our life and relationships.

There are desires common to us all, but certain ones hit a bit closer to home in our personal story. And they function like an internal operating system directing our steps and engagement in life.

To varying degrees we are driven by our desires for significance, security, and justice.


The desire for significance is the desire for others to see and recognize us as important.

Somewhere in our hearts we feel unworthy of love and belonging and desperately want to be accepted for who we are.

A hidden motive for significance might drive us to be overly concerned with winning the approval of others or to be seen in a certain light by them.


Life is filled with much uncertainty and many unknowns. And there is no guarantee that the things we care the most for will not be harmed and possibly even taken from us.

The desire for security is the desire to know we will be okay.

A hidden motive for security might drive us to hyperfocus on danger or the ways to avoid danger.


Many things in life are not as they should be. At every turn we see people being harmed, undervalued, or simply not living up to their potential.

The desire for justice is the desire to correct the wrong and to bring good into the world.

A hidden motive for justice might drive us to overcorrect and cause more harm than good through our actions.

We all desire significance, security, and justice to some degree – but often one a little more than the others.

Knowing our hidden motivations allows us to show up with the best version of ourselves – our internal operating systems now working consciously in the service of love and no longer driving us blindly.

Learn to bring more significance, security, and justice into the world by knowing your hidden motivations.

Photo by Daan Mooij on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024


Leave a Reply