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The simple life is a good life. With so many chasing after junk, stuff, and things, there’s great value in embracing the wisdom of less is more. But no one wins when we kill the true desires of our heart for the sake of simplicity.

To be sure, some things don’t matter in the long run and it’s easier just to go along with the desires of others. We make life a lot simpler by not making a big deal over small matters.

But consistently deferring our desires to others is yet another subtle fig leaf.

In focusing on making the other happy we don’t have to share the true desires of our heart. And so what looks like sacrificial love and honoring the other more than ourselves is in reality just hiding.

Sharing our heart is vulnerable. We open ourselves to the possibility of criticism, judgment, and simply being misunderstood.

And if we’ve been burned here before we’re not quick to take this risk again. It seems better to play it safe and keep our focus on making the other happy.

But this path comes at a high cost.

Initially, the other is likely delighted we’re pouring so much energy into keeping them happy. And then a nagging loneliness creeps in as they struggle to understand why they feel so disconnected from us.

When we hide our true desires and the deep movements of our heart we also block our ability to enjoy true intimacy. We don’t open ourselves enough to be fully known.

While this protects us from the risks of exposure, we also frustrate the other and rob them of the gift of our true self.

And, in the end, this is a neglect of our responsibility to live wholeheartedly in our relationships.

Stay connected to the deep desires of your heart and courageously offer it to the full in your life and relationships.

Photo by Aejaz Memon on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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