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It’s true we often blame others when we’re actually the problem ourselves. We’re the common denominator when the same frustration is present in all our relationships. But it’s true we’re also tempted to make things about us that have nothing to do with us. Life happens and it’s not always personal. 

On the one hand, it’s certainly good to consider the ways we might be contributing to the problems we face. At the same time, pride gets the best of us when we start assuming everything is about us. 

For instance, it’s helpful to consider if we’ve missed the mark somewhere when our wife is having a bad day. Perhaps our neglect is fueling her frustration that we can quickly correct once we become aware of it.

And, many other times, it’s good to remember her bad day has nothing to do with us. It’s simply her bad day. And while of course it affects us, it’s not about us. 

Likewise, a friend forgetting to call, a coworker’s critique of our work, or even someone cutting us off on the road might have nothing to do with us personally. 

We are not the center of everyone else’s world. And sometimes their thoughts, actions, and feelings are more about whatever is going on in their world rather than about us. 

We’re prone to frustrate everyone when we take everything too personally. 

We’re frustrated because it doesn’t seem like we can do anything to fix the problem. And we can’t because it’s not our problem to fix. 

The other is also likely frustrated because the focus has shifted to us, which distracts from the original and true issue they are facing. We can’t care for their hearts when we make ourselves the center of everything. 

In the end, take responsibility for the things that are yours to own. But don’t assume everything is about you. Sometimes life happens and it’s not personal. 

Photo by Nick Torontali on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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