We don’t have to look far to see the hurt and pain caused by many lost, shallow, and distracted men.

Assaults, infidelity, and corruption. Abandonment, abuse, and passivity. And the list goes on.

Vows have been shattered, marriages broken, and the foundation of the family eroded. And society and the church has not been spared either from the harm and scandal caused by these men.

I believe most men want to be good. They want to have a positive impact on the world around them – using their strength to bring more life and goodness to others.

Yet this requires men to be deeply rooted, and unfortunately, too many of us remain lost, shallow, and distracted.

Lost Men

Lost men are disconnected from their deep purpose. They drift through life without direction and would fit in well with Peter Pan and the other Lost Boys of Neverland.

Because they are lost, these men cannot be counted on to regularly offer their strength. Depending on how the wind blows, they may show up, or not.

People in relationships with lost men are constantly disappointed and keep hoping one day these men will grow up or “find themselves.”

Shallow Men

Shallow men lack depth of character and presence. These can be nice men who regularly attend church and help out with the school PTA; they appear good and helpful, but the intense messiness of life overwhelms them.

These guys are fun to hang out with when life is good, and everyone seems to love them. But when the hard realities of life hit, these men can no longer stand the heat.

They have no depth to endure the difficulties of life and relationships.

Distracted Men

Distracted men struggle to maintain meaningful connections with others. These men might hyper-focus on their careers, bank accounts, or political agendas and miss cultivating fulfilling relationships. They run from one activity to the next, never feeling like they can do enough.

Prone to major in the minors, the important matters of life are soon choked out by the urgent.

It is difficult to form a relationship with a distracted man, and very lonely if you do. You are often left wondering, “Where do I fit in?”

Rooted Men

Rooted men have deep purpose, presence, and connection.

Their life has direction and they bear fruit in every season. When life gets hard, these men provide a steady source of strength and comfort; they can be counted on. They are able to focus their attention where it matters the most, courageously balancing the many demands of life and forging meaningful relationships.

Too many have suffered at the hands of lost, shallow, and distracted men. It’s time for us to Get Rooted!

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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