Perhaps there are times in which loving others not only provides for their good but it also feels good and looks good as we do it. But love is not always this sexy. And many times we must choose to love anyway.

Of course, this can include caring for a sick loved one, as often this is not considered a pleasant experience. But often this care can still be seen as a noble sacrifice. And there are many who would readily affirm and praise us for serving in such a way.

Closer to the point is loving through the mundane everydayness of life – choosing to do the small things that are easy to overlook but go a long way in the end. Still, there’s a sense in which this is understood, accepted, and praised.

What’s harder to see is those moments of love in which there’s little to no fanfare.

For instance, this might be choosing to express love to our wife when there’s no natural desire to do so. On the surface, it might seem like we’re just going through the motions. And we might have to wrestle with these thoughts ourselves.

We might decide to buy her flowers, schedule a date, or make love, for example, not because we’re overflowing with desire per se, but simply because it’s what love calls us to do in the moment.

And, to be fair, there’s a sense in which we are just going through the motions. But it’s also true we’re responding to a deeper Yes of love.

While this Yes is not sexy, it remains love all the same.

In fact, we miss many opportunities to grow in love when we wait on it to have a certain look and feel.

Enjoy all the highs of love whenever you can. And don’t hold back your practice even when it’s not sexy and it seems like you’re just going through the motions. Let your deep love be evident through it all.

Photo by Nathan McBride on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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