Skip to main content

We’re not yet who we want to be. And this is okay. But we must faithfully mind the gap between where we’re currently standing and where we want to go.

Our potential assumes we’ve not yet arrived – that we’re still on the way toward the best version of ourselves.

And this process of becoming is simply our humble journey of growth. Our deep goals and aspirations – the vision of our ideal self is something we continually press toward.

Being always ahead of us it’s tempting to focus just on what is. And this acceptance seems wise as it reduces expectations and the frustration of not measuring up.

On the other hand, as we still value the ideas we profess, it’s also tempting to just pretend we’ve already arrived. We strive to present ourselves as perfect so no one will see our undone parts.

But, in the end, both of these approaches miss the mark.

A better approach is simply minding the gap – honestly acknowledging where we are and where we still want to go.

For instance, we don’t have to pretend to be the world’s best husband. Nor do we have to merely resign ourselves to our current state. Rather we can commit to becoming the husband who loves his wife well and practice this commitment daily.

And the same holds in our parenting and work, our friendships and learning to love those who are different than ourselves.

By all means, let’s name what is ideal. And then acknowledge the gap between this ideal and where we currently stand.

To do otherwise either sells ourselves short or crumbles under the weight of hypocrisy.

Accept where you are without losing sight of your best you. Minding this gap allows us to live with integrity as we humbly offer our strength to the world.

Photo by Alex Radelich on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

Leave a Reply