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We are born helplessly dependent on our parents for our very survival. And part of maturity is naturally growing more independent – learning to stand on our own two feet and not be as needy for others to do everything for us. But our souls remain needy in many ways even as we mature.

In our quest for maturity we often try to avoid being needy at all costs. In fact, we tend to look down on those who always seem to need someone to hold their hand through the normal courses of life.

And some of this is justified, as there is a reasonable expectation for us to grow and mature – to put away our childish approaches and engage our life and relationships with a grounded strength.

To be sure, we don’t have the freedom to bring life and goodness to others when we get stuck drinking only milk and can’t tolerate the solid food of life.

But growing in maturity doesn’t mean complete independence. And it certainly doesn’t mean we’re without needs.

We needed our village growing up and we need it throughout our lives as well. There’s no expectation for us to figure life out on our own and we only invite much unnecessary suffering when we try.

And even more basic, we all need air to breathe, food to eat, water to drink, and regular times for our bodies to sleep and rest.

We need touch and affirmation, a place to belong and some sense of purpose that grounds us in a reality larger than ourselves.

In many ways, being needy is simply the state of our human souls as we live life in this world. We need the power of God as we live and move and have our very being.

And as we mature, we learn how to remain open to the needs of our soul without neglecting our God-given responsibilities elsewhere.

Don’t let the pretenses of maturity cause you to neglect the needs of your soul. It’s still needy and this is by design. Learn to receive all the strength, love, and support you need to thrive.

Photo by modelikechukwu on Pixabay

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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