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Many people will blame us for things not our fault. And sometimes we also accept responsibilities that are not ours to own. There’s great freedom in learning only to accept what we’re actually responsible for.

Perhaps we just like keeping the peace and not seeing others suffer if we can take care of the situation for them.

Or maybe somewhere growing up we came to believe that we were responsible for the wellbeing of others.

Whatever the case, many will allow us to take the blame and responsibility for their choices in life.

And while this might temporarily not rock the boat, this is not true peacemaking.

Eventually bitterness and resentment takes root in our heart and we rob the other of growing into their potential. They continue to look to us to fix their problems and we become overwhelmed with their neediness.

In time, we might lash out in anger at them, or self-medicate with our vices to find some escape from the burden of responsibilities.

Typically, we then feel bad and redouble our efforts to do more – believing it’s our fault for any relational disruptions. And if we could just somehow find peace in doing more maybe we wouldn’t keep falling back into our secret sins.

But our problem here is not in doing more. We’re actually already doing too much.

We experience true peace and freedom as we let others be responsible for their own lives.

This is not becoming indifferent to their wellbeing. And there are often many ways in which we can still support them.

But we’re not so prideful to believe that we’re ultimately responsible for the outcomes in their life.

Take responsibility for what’s yours to own. And respect others enough to do the same.

Photo by zhugher on Pixabay

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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