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It’s natural to compare ourselves with others. We all want to know how we’re fitting in and if we’re normal. But we can easily frustrate ourselves when we simply try to conform to what’s considered “normal” rather than live the one of a kind life God has given us.

Of course, there’s wisdom in considering how our life measures up with others. It’s arrogant to believe we have nothing to learn from the collective wisdom of our communities and those who have gone before us. We are not the first ones seeking to navigate life and relationships in this world, and it should give us pause when our life seems completely left field of everyone else.

At the same time, learning from others is not to suggest we must merely conform to the status quo. Knowing what’s normal and average is a helpful touch point, but this doesn’t make it good or beneficial for our story. Just because something is a certain way doesn’t mean it should be this way.

For instance, knowing what the majority of people do in terms of their career, money, marriage, sex life, and the like can be helpful to a degree. But we must still do the work to determine what the path forward looks like for us.

We risk going against the grain of how God has crafted us when we simply try to match what’s normal. And it becomes a type of bad faith because we’re merely adopting the beliefs of others rather than learning how to stand on our own two feet.

In the end, living your one of a kind life is learning from the collective wisdom of others while still forging your own path forward. It’s thoughtfully considering what’s “normal” without putting yourself in this box of limitations.

Photo by Noah Näf on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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