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Being romantic generally focuses on what we do for the other – getting the right gifts and setting the right atmosphere to put a smile on her face.  And romance can certainly include these things, particularly when it comes with a personal touch. But part of romance also includes sharing our own hearts.

With many things in life we tend to focus on the external – what we can do to make an impact in the world. And we often bring this mindset into our relationship with Eve as well. We center our efforts on trying to do enough to bring her joy and happiness.

And while there’s benefit here, we often miss the two-way dance of romance.

Romance is not just about us doing for her. She also wants to receive our heart as well. And this might explain some of the distance still between us even after we’ve done so many things for her.

To be sure, sharing our heart is vulnerable. But our heart is one of the greatest gifts we can offer to her.

It communicates that we trust her, respect her, and cherish her enough to let our guard down. She feels loved and honored as we let her into our inner world.  And this starts to heal some of the loneliness she experiences in her own heart – as we hold the space both to care for her heart and share ours as well.

It’s not enough when this is just a one-way street. While she might appreciate all we do for her, her heart is still lonely if we’re not also sharing ours with her.

By all means, continue making every effort to bring joy and happiness to your Eve. And remember there’s a deeper romance discovered by learning to share your heart and inner world as well.

Photo by Vows on the Move on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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