There’s certainly a private side to our sexual selves. Not everyone has the right or privilege to enter these sacred parts of who we are. At the same time, shame and embarrassment often keeps important parts of ourselves hidden in the shadows and not in the redeeming light of love.

For example, perhaps we are wounded by someone else’s sexual sins toward us. Or maybe we engaged in sins that we now regret ourselves. And the shame of these experiences runs so deep that we swore to ourselves not to tell another living soul.

But while we might try to live as if these things never happened, they often continue to live in the shadows and shape our thoughts, actions, and heart attitudes today.

This might also be the case as certain fantasies or desires get stirred. We’re prone to keep these in the shadows as well whenever they contain embarrassing, taboo, or otherwise disturbing elements.

We fear how others might view us if they knew these private thoughts. And we might desperately pray for God to simply remove them from our minds and hearts.

In the meantime, much time and energy are spent trying to repress these images and desires that this often simply results in an ongoing battle with secret sins.

In either case, healing and life is found by bringing our sexual selves out of the shadows and into the light with our trusted others.

Their presence helps us to experience God’s love and forgiveness, and reminds us our dignity is not defined by past sins. And they can also help us to listen for the true heart behind our desires however uncomfortable or unbecoming they might seem on the surface.

By all means, protect the sanctity and privacy of your sexual story. And be willing also to bring those hidden areas out of the shadows and into the light with your trusted others.

What’s hidden is not forgotten. And what’s in the shadows still has a powerful impact on your daily life.

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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