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Many things happen outside of our control and place us in situations we would not have freely chosen ourselves. But this does not eliminate our responsibilities. We must still respond wisely and not play the victim.

Adam and Eve were victims of the serpent’s evil schemes. He was out to get them. But this did not relieve them of their responsibilities.

God still held them accountable for how they responded. They could not play the victim and get a pass on the choices they made.

Playing the victim is another version of the blame game. But here there’s less active blaming of the other and more simply believing that we’re the passive victims of life happening to us.

In either case, we attempt to bypass self-responsibility.

But more accurately – while life can happen to us, we’re still responsible for our response.

For example, our boss, client, family, and friends might directly contribute to the hardships in our life. All the same, we cannot blame them for our failure to thrive. We must actively participate with God to enjoy our life and relationships to the full.

Likewise, our sexuality is assaulted everyday as we’re exposed to thoughts, images, and suggestions not of our choosing. The thief of goodness actively seeks to take us out. But this is never an excuse for sexual sin.

To be sure, naming an injustice helps us to correct it. But simply calling attention to the ways we’ve been wronged does little to improve the situation.

And when we play the victim we are ignoring our role and capacity to change our situation. This robs us of our freedom to love and ability to bring more life and goodness into the world.

Don’t play the victim. Accept responsibility for the outcome of your life and relationships.

Photo by MARK ADRIANE on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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