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Men are often known to be fixers. Whether replacing parts on our vehicles or making home repairs, we like finding the quick and fast solutions to life’s problems. And much of our society functions this way as well.

Take the practice of medicine. When we go to the doctor we expect our dis-ease to be treated so we can return back to our everyday life with no more aches, pains, cancer, or whatever the case may be.

We also take a similar approach when it comes to matters of sexuality. Our focus is often on sexual health, which has the primary goal of relieving our suffering and helping us to restore normal functioning. How do we keep it up, last longer, practice safe sex, and overcome our addictions?

These are all good things, but they are also limited. There are some matters in life that cannot be so easily “fixed.”

Our sexual maturity is one of these areas. We can engage in all the best practices regarding sexual health and still not grow toward maturity.

Much more than the mere ability to grow body hair and impregnate a woman, pursuing sexual maturity means growing toward our potential, God’s purpose and design for our sexuality.

As creation reflects the Creator, so our sexuality reflects God. And as men we get to reflect the strength of God, a strength that brings life and goodness to others.

Sexual maturity is then about growing in this strength.

Certainly, it is good to find fixes and solutions to our sexual problems. At the same time, let’s not confuse health and “normal functioning” with maturity and potential.

While a mature man is also concerned about his health, a healthy man is not necessarily concerned about maturity.

When we focus on health we may indeed find the right combination of techniques, toys, and pills to maintain a rock hard erection all night long, but this may not result in bringing more life and love into our relationships.

Simply focusing on health misses the mark on who God has called us to be as sexual men.

On the other hand, when we pursue maturity we are wholly concerned about who we are as the sons of God and how we live this out. Our life as sexual men is then free from worry and filled with joy and gratitude. And our growing maturity becomes a light for others to see, pointing the way to a deeper life with God.

Let’s be the men who are on the road toward ever growing maturity!

Have you ever considered the difference between your sexual health and sexual maturity? What would it look like to pursuit deeper maturity as a sexual man? Do you have other men and mentors who can help you in this journey?

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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