There are many things in life we can change, and we rightly exercise our strength to make a difference. But many things we cannot change. And the answer here is not giving up in resignation, but rather the wisdom of radical acceptance and yielding to reality on its own terms. 

Of course, there’s no honor in passively drifting through life and merely letting things happen to us when we have it within our power to make a change for the better. But it’s also arrogant to believe we can control every aspect of life. There comes a point in which we must courageously accept the fate of our story – those aspects that will not change. 

For instance, we had no control over when we would be born, who our parents would be, or the body type we might have. Likewise, we cannot change the harm others afflicted on us, whether our love is returned in kind, or the unique challenges of our generation. 

Whatever it looks like, we naturally grieve when we wish things were different. And this grief is a way to honor and name the deeper desires of our souls. Our aches point us back to God

But part of maturity is the faith to continue living well despite the hardships we must endure. This is not putting our head in the sand in an attempt to ignore our struggles. Instead, it’s an unwavering determination to make the most of the life given to us regardless of what comes our way. 

And it’s this radical acceptance that gives us the freedom to live the good life – neither pining away in resignation nor naïvely pretending things are different than they really are. 

In the end, while you might wish things were different, accepting reality on its own terms gives you the most freedom to faithfully make the most of the time and place God has given to you. 

Photo by Blake Connally on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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