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After sexual climax, our bodies need a time of recovery before we’re able to offer ourselves again. This refractory period is a time of rest and renewal. And there’s a wisdom here that applies throughout our lives.

For instance, after running or working out, it’s good to have a recovery day or two before exerting ourselves again. And we risk injury when we don’t.

After completing a major project at work it’s also nice to have some time to rest before jumping into the next one. And the quality of our work is greatly diminished when we don’t take this time.

Likewise, emotionally intense conversations with our wife or kids generally requires a time to replenish our emotional reserves before engaging at this level again. And we’re more likely to spiral and say and do things we regret later when we don’t have a moment or two of retreat.

In many different ways, it’s clear God has designed us to rest after spending the energy it takes to pour ourselves out. And while the length of time needed varies greatly, this still highlights the importance of our rest and recovery.

And this is a pattern we can see in God as well. After he created, he rested.

Sometimes we avoid taking our needed refractory periods because they seem so unproductive.

And, in a sense, they are.

Refractory is not a time of new production, but rather one of regenerating and rebuilding, of renewing, replenishing, and reviving our depleted reserves. In short, it’s a time of restoring our inner vitality.

And we will eventually feel the pain and suffering that follows when we don’t take the time needed to recover.

Follow the wisdom of your body and learn to accept the needed refractory periods throughout your life and relationships. God has given us this time for a reason.

Photo by Ivy Schexnayder on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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