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We must be pushed beyond our edge in order to grow. Without regular resistance in life, we will not develop the strength needed to make a meaningful impact on the world.

Photo by Brett Jackson on Unsplash

For many, a life of comfort with no stresses or challenges seems very attractive – a life of endless vacation.

While we all need seasons of rest and comfort, we must also regularly face resistance in order to grow into our full potential.

In fact, many life frustrations are best interpreted as God’s training of us.

To grow our patience, God gives us situations which test our patience.

To expand our capacity to love, God puts people in our path we could easily hate.

The same holds in discovering our True Self, developing intimate relationships, and embracing our sexuality.

True Self

It is a struggle to know ourselves. We face resistance from the expectations of others and our own inner comparisons of who we think we should be.

This push back is not all bad. It forces us to wrestle with ourselves and discover who God created us to be.

Our true self emerges as we consistently confront and challenge the many other versions of ourselves.

Intimate Relationships

While there is a natural ease and flow to most of our intimate relationships, all relationships require work. A certain tension is needed for the relationship to flourish.

For example, our personality differences often rub each other the wrong way, and it takes a lot of endurance to make these differences work in our favor. But if we accept this challenge, these differences produce a much stronger relationship.

A relationship without some struggle will likely stagnate and die.


To grow sexually, we must also wrestle with our thoughts, feelings, and desires. Playing it safe only leaves us with a weak and impotent sexuality.

As we press through discomfort and embarrassment, we discover the full creative goodness of our sexual design – realizing also that it is much more than what we do with our genitals.

The struggle refines us and allows us to use our sexuality to bring more life and goodness into the world.

The process of training is rarely fun, but the results are worth the effort.

Accept the training of resistance and strengthen your masculine presence in your life and relationships.

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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