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Discipline allows us to cultivate many good things throughout our life and relationships. Rather than simply doing what seems right in the moment, we submit ourselves to the training, correction, and endurance needed to bring about the good we desire. And this remains true with our sexual nature as well.

Sexual discipline can be viewed in terms of putting off and putting on. On the one hand, we put off all forms of sexual immorality – anything that goes against God’s standards for our lives. Here we discipline ourselves not to cave into temptations or merely conform to the sexual worldview and standards of the world around us.

At the same time, we practice putting on God’s truth, goodness, and beauty sexually. It’s not enough to simply avoid the dark side if we’re not also cultivating the light. And we must discipline ourselves toward deeper levels of intimate knowing, creative action, and full embodied joys.

Sexual discipline can also be seen as a type of self-control. This includes the ability to refrain from certain expressions when it’s not the right time or context to do so, and even when our body is screaming for us to do otherwise. Discipline allows us to control our sexual urges and not let them get the best of us.

On the flip side, discipline might also require us to pursue sexual connection even when we’re tired, busy, or just not in the mood. Here we’re pursuing a deeper commitment to love that’s not dependent on how we feel in the moment. And discipline trains us to practice love even in less-than-ideal circumstances.

Whatever it looks like, in the end, much more than merely sin management, sexual discipline frees you and allows your sexual self to be used as a vehicle of love. And much harm, heartache, and grief are the result when this discipline is not in place.

Photo by Aejaz Memon on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024


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