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There’s joy in knowing and figuring things out immediately. But occasionally things need time to gestate before they’re ready to be dealt with directly. And so we must learn to exercise the discipline of patience and the wisdom of letting things remain undone for now.

Of course, there’s no need to delay when insight and meaningful change is readily available. But we must not let our discomfort with uncertainty cause us to rush ahead. Our prematurity can make matters worse.

For instance, we naturally want to fix the issues in marriage as quickly as possible. And it might even seem wise to fully address the issue before going to bed that night. But this is not always the case.

Certainly, there’s wisdom in “not letting the sun go down” on the issue, meaning we keep it out in the light of day and not ignore it or otherwise go to sleep concerning it. But keeping things in the forefront of our awareness is not the same as forcing a resolution prematurely.

We might not fully understand why we were triggered in a particular conflict. And while a rush answer might pacify in the moment, it quickly leads to resentment later when we realize it’s not something we wish to continue. And the same might be true on her side whenever we pressure a response from her.

Taking time to consider the true issue allows us to make a more informed decision moving forward. But this might require time waiting in the messiness of uncertainty. To be sure, waiting doesn’t mean passivity. And levels of intentionality are still required. Waiting is just allowing things to mature on their own timeline without forcing them to be on ours.

In the end, don’t give up searching for resolution, but learn to wait and allow things to be undone for now. This time to mature frees you to get to the heart of the issue and not rush ahead – causing more harm than good due to your own impatience.

Photo by jose aljovin on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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