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Many of us doubt whether we’re truly worthy of love and belonging. While we know God loves us, this appears to be more intellectual knowledge rather than a lived experience. And it seems we bring a similar doubt and hidden suspicion into our relationships with each other as well – openly professing our love while also fearfully hedging our bets. Our love is deeper and freer when we know we’re worth receiving the love of others as well.

For instance, perhaps on some subconscious level we fear our wife doesn’t really love us. Of course, on the surface we speak often of our love and have an otherwise stable and satisfying marriage. Our deep fears remain mostly hidden even from ourselves. But they can be exposed in how we respond even to ordinary decisions.

For example, we might hesitate in offering our opinion or desires regarding daily household choices because we fear they wouldn’t be accepted. While we seem easy going, it’s rooted in the notion of being unworthy and merely deferring to others rather than taking the risk to put our own heart on the line. On the other hand, we might feel the need to always fight for what we want. And while this seems we’re just being assertive and proactive, it’s also rooted in the belief that others cannot be trusted to provide good for us, and so we must take matters into our own hands. 

When we know we’re worth it and trust in love then we have the courage to share our vulnerable heart with the confident expectation of being received with delight. And we can also rest in the truth that good is coming our way without the need to arrange for it ourselves.  

In the end, your heart is worth sharing and sacrificing for. Live in the truth of this love without secret fears causing you to play it safe or feel you must always arrange for the good your heart desires.

Photo by Jordan Bauer on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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