Love is providing what is needed to bring good to the other. But, unfortunately, we often make our attempts at love more about us than the other. Inasmuch as we care for the other, this is more about the joy they bring into our life rather than actively caring for their heart and the things important to them.
To be fair, this is probably speaking more to our deep affection rather than true love per se.
Of course, we love having them in our life. They mean a lot to us and we would be heartbroken without them.
And we can very easily shout from the mountaintops just how much they’ve made our lives better. Our desire for them is clear and no one ever questions the place of honor they have in our life.
And certainly it would be flattering to be on the receiving end of all this attention and affection, at least for a time.
But this love is still for our sakes and not the mature love that meets the needs of the other.
And eventually the other feels more used and taken advantage of rather than being truly loved by us.
This is often hard to sort through, as our passion and desire for the other is evident, but they still claim something is missing.
And the missing element is unselfish love – love that respects the heart and soul of the other for their own sake, and not our own.
We enter their world and actively care for the things important to them. This makes our love palpable and active in a person’s life, much beyond our well-meaning but still selfish declarations of affection.
In the end, don’t confuse a person’s importance in your life with true love. True love seeks to bring good to others for their own sake and not merely selfishly for the values they bring to us.
Photo by lucas Favre on Unsplash