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Some gifts are priceless. We know it’s the thought that matters more than the price tag when it comes to material gifts. And in relationships, our presence matters more than any particular interaction.

It’s easy to get so caught up on the trappings that we miss the heart and meaning of a gift.

For example, at Christmastime and birthdays, we often assume a bigger and more expensive gift is a better expression of our love.

But a thoughtless gift, however expensive, doesn’t communicate personal love and care.

On the other hand, a simple yet thoughtful gift does much more to communicate our love to the other.

This also plays out in the relationship as a whole.

Much more than the details or outcome of an interaction, what matters is our presence.

This is not to suggest that what we do doesn’t matter. But it does remind us that who we are matters more.

For instance, good friends can enjoy each other’s company without the pressure to always be doing something. Their gift to the other is their presence – whether they’re hiking, hunting, or just sitting on the couch.

Likewise, as two lovers fully give themselves to each other, the particulars of the interaction do not matter as much. What matters more is the gift of their wholehearted presence with each other in the moment.

When we doubt our value we tend to overcompensate by focusing on the external trappings of our gift. If we perfect what we do, maybe we can hide who we are.

But as we remember our intrinsic worth we’re freed to offer the simple yet profound gift of our very selves.

Your presence is the gift.

Be generous.

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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