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There’s a part of us that naturally seeks justice. And we’re quick to note double standards – when others don’t seem to be held to the same expectations that we are. But our reasonable desires for fairness should not keep us from fulfilling our practice of love even when others do not fulfill theirs.

To be fair, it’s simply human nature to compare ourselves to others. But everyone has their own story and we’re prone to many false comparisons. While others might appear to be held to a different standard from our perspective, this might be very appropriate for them in their story.

For instance, it’s not being unfair to expect different things from each child depending on their age of development. But this doesn’t eliminate the desire for things to feel more just in the moment. And many feelings can get stirred when we experience such stark discrepancies.

The way forward is spending less time comparing ourselves to others and more time simply focused on living with our own integrity. It doesn’t matter what everyone else is doing when we’re committed to living consistent with the man God has called us to be.

Of course, it still stings a bit when others appear to be treated differently. But these differences no longer take us out because they’re no longer the focus of our attention. And even when it’s time to lovingly confront others, this is less about pursuing fairness for our sake, and more about simply helping them to grow into a better version of themselves.

To be sure, it’s easy to water down our excellence when we become overly concerned about keeping everything fair.

Focus on the choices you can make and who God has called you to be, even when there seems to be a double standard between you and them.

Photo by Allef Vinicius on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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