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As men, we get to reflect the strength of God in many creative, passionate, and generous ways. And when we do this intentionally, and not play it safe, we bring more life and goodness to all our relationships.


To be creative is to use our strength to bring about original thoughts and expressions – to create more life. Certainly, this can be seen in our ability to create new life through biological procreation. At the same time, being truly creative as sexual men goes much beyond this.

In the bedroom this may mean thinking outside of the usual box of routines. While we all have our favorite positions and go-to settings, our sex life can become stagnant and boring when we play it safe and hold back from being creative. Being intentionally creative allows us to have a vibrant, life-giving sex life even passed our childbearing years.

Outside of the bedroom, being creative may include not settling for the status quo in our marriage and friendships. All too often we merely go through the motions of our relationships. To be creative is to purposefully move our relationships toward their highest good.

This creative power also shows up in our work, play, hobbies, and anywhere in which we are using our strength to bring more life and goodness. And wherever there is disorder, chaos, or stagnation – this shows us where our creative strength is needed.


To live passionately is to live wholeheartedly and to be all in. This means we show up and are fully engaged in every task and relationship.

Said another way, to be passionate is to allow the fullness of the life of God to flow through us. This is more of a way of being than doing anything in particular.

In the bedroom we may experience this as that extra spark or energy in lovemaking. However, more than this, our lovemaking is passionate when we choose to be fully present in the moment. Passion comes when we allow ourselves to open and experience all the life and joy available in each moment, which is not dependent on perfecting any particular act of sex.

Again, outside of the bedroom, passion comes in how we show up in our work and relationships. Do you work and contribute your gifts with all your heart? What does it look like to bring intense desire and enthusiasm into your relationships?

Passionate men make an impact on the world around them. Their presence is felt and deeply valued. Living passionately points others toward living a life with God.


Being generous is freely giving our strength and our presence for the good of others.

To be sure, in the bedroom this means not holding back or only initiating when we desire sexual release. Generosity calls us to offer ourselves when it is in the best interest of our wife, offering ourselves for her enjoyment, connection, and good.

Outside of the bedroom generosity might include freely offering our expertise and gifting to a situation. Or spending the time to be fully present with another, giving them the gift of our time and attention.

Words of affirmation are another way in which we can be generous.  Many individuals, both males and females, are starved for masculine affirmation. Being generous allows us to speak the words of life so many are desperate to hear.

Society often portrays men as power hungry and only concerned about themselves, and in many cases this is sadly true. The world, not to mention our neighbors, needs more men who are generous, that is willing to freely give of their masculine strength and presence.

To live as the true sons of God and become the sexual men he created us to be, our sexuality must reflect the characteristics of God. In part, this means becoming sexual men who are creative, passionate, and generous, both inside and out of the bedroom.

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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