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We all desire love and belonging. But often we doubt our worthiness. Deep love reminds us we’re valued for who we are – our true essence and not just for the many masks we wear.

This fear of not being loveable runs deep. Sometimes we think of it in terms of not being accepted or chosen.

And somewhere along the way we start believing the lie we’re only lovable if we can be a certain way.

For example, we might commit to working out and improving our physical health. And certainly these are worthy goals by themselves.

But often hidden beneath our honest desire to get in shape is also the complicit assumption we’re only loveable if and when we can do so.

The fear of “letting ourselves go” is not just about the health benefits, but also of not being accepted if we can no longer look the part.

And this might play out in the pursuit of our careers and professional credentials, maintaining expert knowledge in our respective areas of interest, or ensuring everyone around us is having a good time.

As with the pursuit of health, these are not bad goals. But often they’re still driven by our need to prove our worthiness of love. We’ll be chosen IF we can only play our part well enough.

The story of Beauty and the Beast reminds us true love is not dependent on our external presentations. And this is an echo of the gospel itself.

We must reject the lie and choose to rest in the truth we’re loved simply for who we are.

This is not an excuse for complacency. Of course we continue growing into the best version of ourselves. But this is now an act of faith and we’re no longer driven by the fear of not measuring up.

Learn to give and receive deep love – love that sees beneath the surface and values the very essence of our being.

Photo by Luemen Carlson on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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