Skip to main content

Many conflicts only bring greater division and distain. But avoiding conflict doesn’t bring peace and healing either. Good conflict is needed to experience the breakthroughs we desire throughout our life and relationships.

Some people enjoy a good fight and shaking things up. But when this is ego driven, it becomes more about winning a particular argument than actually pursuing the good.

Fighting just to fight or merely to defend our pride leads to a lot of unnecessary bickering, heartache, and discord.

At the other extreme are those who want to avoid any and all conflict. Here, nothing is worth breaking the peace, and so they fake the peace instead.

While things appear calmer on the surface, growth does not take place when conflict is avoided.

There is a place and need for healthy conflict.

Conflict doesn’t mean something is wrong. In fact, it’s often a sign that something is very right and good.

Even within ourselves we have many warring thoughts and desires that must be sorted through. And this gets increasingly complex as we interact with others.

But the conflict often serves as iron sharpening iron – giving us a clearer picture of what actually matters and is worth fighting for.

For instance, fights about finances, how we express our love, or even public policies are not always as they appear on the surface.

There’s often much more going on than what meets the eye and conflict helps to reveal it.

And once to the surface, we can consciously deal with what matters most – freeing us to also let go of and deal gently with the other smaller disagreements along the way.

Avoiding conflict and fighting just to fight both keep us stuck.

Courageously engage in good conflict and discover new depths to your life and relationships.

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

One Comment

Leave a Reply