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A leader is not simply the one who makes the decisions. Even when bearing ultimate responsibility for an outcome, leadership requires a connection with those we lead. We must know the heart of those we seek to lead.

A leader is one who guides others toward a desired destination.

This is more than a position and simply expecting others to follow. It’s bullies and tyrants that demand compliance.

A leader takes the time to know who he is leading. And this requires humble curiosity.

When we just assume we know best without deeply considering the heart of the other, we set ourselves up for much frustration.

Most people want to know they matter in the decisions being made.

When this is not the case, the natural human tendency is to rebel, leaving both the leader and would-be follower ultimately disappointed.

However, when we remain humble enough to consider what matters to the other, we earn the privilege of leadership.

In this sense, while positions can be given, true leadership is earned – and earned by humbly connecting with the heart of others.

Certainly this is true in the workplace. People are more likely to follow us when they know we care for them personally, and not just for what they can do for us.

And this plays out on the home front as well – deeply knowing the heart of our wife and children. It’s not enough to simply expect them to follow us if we’ve not taken the time to truly know them.

We earn the privilege of leading our family by connecting with and knowing the heart of each member.

We remain ineffective in our roles as leader when we assume our position is enough.

Our heart must be aligned with those we seek to lead – knowing what matters to them and not just pushing our agenda.

Learn to lead by knowing the heart of those who follow.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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