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Wanting something more doesn’t mean we’re dissatisfied with what we have. We have the ability to be full and hungry at the same time. It’s a paradox that reflects God’s infinite creativity.

For instance, in pursuing higher education we’re not despising the education we’ve already received. But we realize there’s still much more we want to learn.

Wanting another child is not because we’re disappointed with our first. We simply want to experience expansive love.

Likewise, wanting to experience variety in our sexual life is not necessarily because we’re unhappy with our current expressions. Again, we often just want to enjoy creative variety to the full.

We miss the fullness God has for us when we assume our desires are in competition with each other – that wanting more of one thing means we want less of something else.

God has created us with the ability to hold multiple desires at the same time. And we can be full and hungry simultaneously – completely satisfied while also wanting more.

The human soul is complex and our desires don’t always fit neatly on a continuum. And our challenge is to hold these multiple realities at the same time.

For example, when our wife or friend expresses a desire to spend time with others, it’s not necessarily because they don’t want to spend time with us. It’s possible that our relationship is good and they still want to connect with others.

We tend to take it personally when we don’t honor their complexity, which, in turn, can put a strain on the relationship.

Allowing them the freedom to be both full and hungry respects the deep waters of their soul, and gives us the chance to explore the same.

Honor your complexity of being full and hungry without denying one for the other.

Photo by Omar Ramadan on Pexels

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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