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We all have our personal quirks and ways of being. And this shapes our interactions with each other. While most of this we take for granted, it’s good to regularly review the relational atmosphere we maintain around us.

For instance, some people are high energy and bring a lot of fun and excitement to a room, while others are more reserved and allow for things to remain calmer and to possibly go deeper.

There’s not a right or wrong here. But we each create our own relational atmosphere – providing a certain tone to our relationships based on how we show up and interact.

And often without saying a word, we then know how to dance with each other, for better or worse.

There are some people we’re drawn to while others we seek to avoid.

This means also there are some people we attract to ourselves while others we repel based on the relational energy we bring.

To be sure, we will not be liked by everyone regardless of what we do. And this often speaks to issues in their own story more so than ours.

But it’s also helpful to consider the atmosphere we’ve created when it seems everyone is treating us the same way.

What is it like for others to be in relationship with us? How do they experience our relational presence?

When it seems others avoid or merely tolerate us, it might be that we’ve created a prideful, selfish, or immature atmosphere that they want nothing to do with.

When we’re surrounded by neediness it’s likely due to creating an atmosphere of dependence.

And when it seems everything is a fight or point of contention, we’ve probably created an atmosphere conflict and strife.

But there’s great freedom as we discover our relational dance. There’s a lot we can change to allow for deeper connections and joy.

We stay stuck when we don’t wake up to how our presence is received by others.

Don’t stay in the dark. Consider the atmosphere you create in your relationships and adjust as needed.

Photo by Amanda Sixsmith on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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