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It’s a thrill to chase after what we desire. And there’s a beautiful agony in this passionate pursuit – the tension of not yet having but the eager anticipation of moving ever closer toward it. This is the essence of true eros.

We often think of eros in terms of sexual desire. And, to be sure, this is a very clear example of our drive to drink deeply of sensual pleasures.

But true eros is not limited to a desire for sex.

For instance, it includes general romantic desires – our deep ache to simply be with our beloved. It’s eros that drives us to see her face, hear her voice, and to connect with her deep heart. And we’re lovesick until we do. This is not a desire for sex per se; our desire is for her.

This plays out in friendships as well. Our longing to be with our friends is fueled by eros. We miss each other when we’re apart and fight for more time together. And it’s eros that drives us to forge these deeper bonds of connection.

Eros also transcends relational desires.

For example, our work is marked with eros when we have a vision of the good we want to see in the world and we’re driven to accomplish this.

It’s present when we’re driven to learn and discover something new. And it fuels our hunger for good art, music, and food.

In the end, eros is our passionate desire to connect with whatever is true, good, and beautiful.

When we limit this to sexual desire we put too much pressure on sex and miss it’s power in the rest of life.

Used well, eros can bring reconciliation and healing throughout our communities as it drives us to bridge the deep divides between us.

Enjoy eros in all its many forms – passionately seeking and uniting with all that is good and beautiful.

Photo by wal_172619 on Pixabay

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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