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It’s intoxicating to witness embodied ecstasy. And perhaps this is a large part of the appeal of pornography and erotic images. There’s something transcendent in seeing our sexuality displayed unapologetically. But often in purifying our hearts toward eroticism, we throw the baby out with the bath water and still miss the true ecstasy God created us to enjoy.

It’s clear sex sells and we don’t have to look far to find cheap and often degrading forms displayed. And we should seek to actively cultivate our imagination toward the biblical vision and God’s design for our sexuality – rejecting any and all distortions that tempt us otherwise.

But often in practice this leads us to becoming less sexual. Or, said another way, we settle for the shallow and safe rather than diving deep and discovering the more.

This happens, for example, when we believe our desires for passionate ecstasy are actually perverted, and that we should be content with simply being with our wife and enjoying the more romantic forms of intimate connection.

And while certainly there’s nothing wrong with connecting romantically, there is a place for unashamed ecstasy as well.

In fact, true ecstasy is discovered as we allow for intimate knowingcreative and playful action, and basking in the deep pleasures of joy experienced.

We miss the mark when our focus is limited to merely turned on bodies and we neglect each other’s heart and soul. At the same time, we miss true ecstasy when we settle for shallow forms of intimacy without also learning how to bring our wholehearted and embodied selves into the moment.

As we pursue true ecstasy, we experience more of the transcendent qualities of sex and discover more of God and the story he is telling through the gift of our sexuality.

Resist the cheap displays wherever they’re found. But learn to also cultivate true ecstasy. Its power opens the door for much life, goodness, and beauty to break through.

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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