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We all long for someone to notice and tell us we have done well – to recognize and affirm our efforts in life. Affirmations feed our soul and lead us toward God’s purpose for our life.

Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash

It feels good when someone says “Well done, good job, or excellent work!”

On the other hand, it is disappointing not to receive these affirmations, particularly from those closest to us.

We were created to desire regular doses of affirmation. It is part of how we receive love and develop our self-awareness in life.

When someone approves of our efforts it confirms we are on the right track. When we receive criticism, or maybe worse, silence, we are left wondering.

Do I have what it takes? Will others like me, and what I have to offer?

If these questions are not answered in the positive, it can lead us to overcompensating or selling ourselves short.

We might try to become someone we are not in order to win the approval of others. If I could just figure out what others like, then maybe they will like me too.

The problem here is that others never get to know the true us. Affirming the mask we wear is not the same as affirming us. And in the end, we are left wanting.

Lacking regular affirmations, we might also sell ourselves short.

We assume we have nothing meaningful to offer and self-doubt eventually gets the best of us, holding us back from offering our true strength.

And unfortunately, the more we hold back, the less there is for someone to see and affirm.

We all desire to be affirmed. And in fact, God guides us toward our purpose in life through the affirmations of others.

However, neither overcompensating nor selling ourselves short ultimately gets us what we need.

Learn to affirm those in your life as you also offer the best version of yourself to be affirmed by them as well.

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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