It seems we often function in one of two modes – either on or off. We’re either intensely focused on tackling the various tasks on our plate, or we simply want to enjoy the bliss of doing nothing.

Both modes are needed and part of our natural operating system.

And there’s also a third way – that of relational being. This is when our wife, for example, just wants to spend a lazy day wasting time together.

Sometimes it’s hard to shift into this mode because it requires our active presence, but we’re not accomplishing tasks per se.

She’s frustrated when we seem always on the go and can never just be. And we’re frustrated when something is required of us but we can’t complete the things we want to do.

As with many things in life there is wisdom in both approaches.

To be sure, there are times in which we need to embrace the virtue of just being. Wasting time together is relational work – the quality time needed to foster connection and intimacy.

At the same time, we don’t have to feel guilty for being wired to do. Part of the glory God has given us is in our ability to get things done.

And going against the grain of our created design eventually leads to bitterness and resentment. No one wins on this path.

Striving for that elusive balance is the key. There’s a time to be in work mode, a time to engage in relational being, and a time to also intentionally do nothing.

And our life becomes fuller as we develop greater freedom to shift into these different modes as needed.

There’s no shame in being wired to do. Simply learn also the virtue of just being.

Photo by Michael DeMoya on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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