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Sex is always more than just rubbing our bodies together. A deep connection takes place even beyond our awareness or conscious participation. And this truth remains despite the surface quality of sex in marriage as well.

The Apostle Paul reminds us that a mysterious oneness takes place in sex independent of the nature of the relationship or the intention of the participants.

And while the Apostle’s immediate context warns against prostitution, the truth of this mysterious union can also positively shape our approach to sex within marriage.

Especially here, sex is more than just sex. The marriage covenant places an entirely different frame around the encounter than just casually hooking up.

As such, we can trust our oneness is being forged through each encounter even if the surface interaction leaves much to be desired.

The mysterious soul connection of sex is not dependent on its quality – a bonding takes place even in mediocre sex.

This is not an excuse to settle for bad sex, but simply a reminder that more is going on than what meets the eye.

Sex does not require fireworks to be meaningful.

This frees us to accept the many tones of sex – including tired sex, going through the motions sex, and the it-has-been-a-while-so-we-probably-should sex.

Intentionally cultivating our oneness does not have to wait on us being “in the mood” for our ideal encounter.

To be sure, every encounter should be an expression of our love. And it’s never okay to take advantage of each other or become demanding just because we’re married. Marriage is not an excuse for sexual sins against each other.

At the same time, let’s not miss the opportunity to foster our oneness every chance we get.

The power of sex unites despite the surface particulars. Use this truth to deepen the oneness in your marriage.

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024


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