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When we discover something that makes our life better we naturally want to share it with those we love. And it can be quite frustrating when they don’t seem as interested as we are. It takes much wisdom and patience to extend invitations into the more.

Perhaps we’ve discovered the benefits of financial freedom, spiritual insights, or that there’s more to sex than just putting body parts together.

And often our first response is to share this good news so that those we love can enjoy these blessings as well.

It’s confusing when they then dismiss, minimize, or express no interest in what we’ve discovered.

Many times the problem is our approach.

Often in our zeal to share we’ve not considered what they’re able to receive. A first grader, for example, is not yet able to appreciate the nuances of Shakespearean literature however soul stirring they might be for us.

We must provide a translation of the more the other can understand and receive.

We must also connect our invitations to what’s important to them and the deep desires of their heart.

Sometimes our requests seem more about our pride and ego than meeting their needs.

Are we truly trying to grow in our sexual expression and depth together? Or are we simply trying to get our wife to have more sex with us? 

Selfish invitations are more likely to be rejected.

There’s also a need to simply make the invitation appealing. Nagging or constantly bombarding someone with dry facts is rarely convicting.

Bait works because it appeals to natural desires. But in this case, we’re not trying to hook someone to our selfish agenda. Rather, we’re simply making attractive what we believe is in their best interest.

To be sure, even once we’ve made the best possible invitation some will still reject it.

Our responsibility is simply to do our part in inviting others into the more God has shown us.

Photo by Devon Divine on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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