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Fear is a helpful emotion in alerting us to danger. A healthy dose allows us to live longer and fuller lives. But in overdrive, fear blocks our ability to love and be fully present in our relationships.

Photo by Andre Hunter on Unsplash

We naturally seek to avoid the hurts, pains, and heartaches of life whenever possible. And fear is our built-in alert system to warn us of danger.

When fear is activated we engage in one of our many defense mechanisms to protect ourselves from harm. We may lash out, run away, or seek to appease the other in our attempts to minimize danger.

However, when driven by fear, these reactions do not allow for the practice of love.

The primary goal of fear is to keep us out of danger, regardless of the cost. It does not care if we have to hurt others, isolate ourselves, or compromise our integrity in the process.

Love on the other hand is willing to risk comfort and security, and does not demand reciprocation in order to bring good to the other.

And it takes courage to make these sacrifices of love.

But courage does not eliminate fear. Instead, courage empowers us to love even in the face of fear.

For instance, fear warns us that something is not right in our marriage. Courageous love motivates us to address the issue anyway.

Fear warns us we are loosing our safety and sense of control in a relationship. Courageous love frees us to give the relationship its needed breathing room anyway.

Fear warns us we may no longer be respected and admired by others. Courageous love reminds us to offer them dignity and respect anyway.

Fear blocks love and all we can be.

Let courageous love bring out the best in your life and relationships.

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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