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Seasons come and seasons go. And some friendships are also only meant for a season, while others for a lifetime. Likewise, some remain in our inner circle, while others become more casual or situational. In any case, it’s helpful to do a friendship audit from time to time to reconsider the company we keep. 

To be sure, friendship is one of life’s luxuries we cannot afford to neglect. But this doesn’t mean we blindly hold onto these relationships either. 

For instance, we all grow and mature and life takes us in different directions. As such, our friends from school might not go with us into the next season of life. While the friendship was good for its season, it can hold us back if we try to take it with us. 

But sometimes the change needed is not a total end to the relationship. Many times all that’s needed is a reprioritizing of our connection with each other and possibly moving individuals from the inner circle to an outer circle.    

A friendship audit is evaluating the current state of our friendships. Are we still heading in the same direction or have our values shifted and it’s time to bring a relationship to an end? Or perhaps it’s simply time for some guys to move to an outer circle while moving other guys into our inner circle. 

Ideally, we bring some level of intentionality to these decisions and not just let our relationships drift. But this also means we’re not simply reactive when we hit rough patches either. Friendships are worth fighting for and we don’t need to end a relationship just because we hurt each other’s feelings from time to time. 

In the end, the company we keep matters and it’s important to take the time needed to audit the current state of our friendships. Without these regular check-ins we miss the potential that comes from iron sharpening iron. 

Photo by Дмитрий Хрусталев-Григорьев on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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