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Of course, we want to present ourselves with excellence every chance we get. People are depending on us and we don’t want to shortchange the glory God has given us to reveal. But often this desire causes us to place impossible standards on ourselves and we don’t allow ourselves to be not okay from time to time.

To be sure, there are many who are lazy, more than willing to cut corners, and are quick to find any excuse to avoid making a meaningful contribution to promote the good of others. 

But the answer to this extreme is not the opposite – crushing our souls under the pressure of unrealistic expectations. 

We are human and not robots. And so it’s okay to have days of being not okay

We don’t always have to pretend everything is fine – cool, calm, collected, with everything under control. There will be days of disappointment and frustrations, of doubt and uncertainties, and days when we don’t know what to do and want to run away from it all. 

And when these days come, it might be good to take the day off or shift into light duty, talk it through with one of our trusted others, or otherwise process what we’re experiencing. But whatever it looks like, we have the permission and responsibility to be not okay as we sort it through. 

This is not an excuse to neglect our other duties and responsibilities.  And many times the show must go on even with less than ideal conditions. But we can’t keep ignoring the warning signs when things are not going well. In fact, we often make matters worse when we do.

In the end, it’s okay to not be okay. This is not an excuse to stay stuck, but rather the grace to simply be human. 

Photo by Elise Zimmerman on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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